The Kenny Rogers song, The Gambler keeps playing in my head as I listen to all the pain and anger that is being strewn about on our communication channels.
Whether it is in the context of the horror that is happening around the world or the stresses of our everyday lives it is our response that we can control. This is where our true power lies.
As a Mindfulness Life Coach, I have found that having the tools to take control of the controllable things in our lives gives us back the power that can manage how to deal with the vitriol and pain that we are hearing. Having compassion and loving kindness knowing that this is coming from a place of fear and fear and love cannot exist at the same time.
You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin’
Is knowin’ what to throw away
And knowin’ what to keep
The more we can talk civilly and have an open mind whether we agree or not can be the best we can do to impact the world and be part of the solution versus adding to the problem.
I’m sharing this simple technique that is so effective before you respond in a situation that may send a reaction you may come to regret.
Does this resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Wishing much peace,
Jill
The STOP Technique:
When something really is triggering you and you feel agitated, close your eyes if you can.
S = Stop. Stop what you’re doing; if possible, put things down for a minute. This is the
awareness piece. Once you become aware that something is triggering you in a negative
way, then you can take steps to calm that. But awareness is the first step. (There’s a
mindfulness practice called a body scan that is very helpful in cultivating this, and I practice
that with clients all the time)
T = Take a few deep breaths. Breathe deeply in and out through your nose and if you want
to extend this practice, then let the breath return to its natural rhythm and depth, as you
notice the sensations of breathing. You can silently say to yourself “in” as you’re breathing
in and “out” as you’re breathing out.
O = Observe. Observe your experience just as it is—including thoughts, feelings, and
emotions. Notice your body and breath. Notice your posture. Notice whatever sensations
are present. Notice what is on your mind and how thoughts come and go. Notice if
any emotions are present and where you might be feeling them in the body. (Research
shows that naming your emotions can turn the volume down on the fear circuit in the brain
and have a calming effect.)
P = Proceed. Proceed with a decision. Does it really require you to react at all- sometimes
you might decide yes, and other times not. Perhaps you decide instead to do something that
will support you in the moment: talk to another person, go for a walk, or change the project
you are working on. The important thing to know is that you have the power to make that
choice. One of the biggest benefits of this practice is the empowerment you will feel when
you have awareness around your own super powers.
If your eyes are closed, open your eyes. Do you feel any different? Can you see where this
might be effective?
